Dear Ms. Modesto

An autoethnographic story by Karla Scarff

Dear Ms. Modesto,

The homwork for today is write a letter, so I’m write to you.  Better not late than never.  You don’t know me good, I am Karla Perez Garcia from class two of English.  I’m the girl who make that drawring of you and I’m write to say I’m sorry.  I do not think you ugly.  I think you are funny and I like when you say storis abut your fiance (I did not know what fiance ment so I lookd it up in the librery diccionary.  It means you will somday marry your boyfriend and he is your fiance now).  I don’t speak English so good now but I’m work hard ever day. 

Maybe that is why I cannot say sorry to you when the ugly drawing happen.  I don’t speek a lot somtimes becuase it’s hard, but I’m learn fast.  People speak too fast to me.  In Mexico my teachers give to me 10 always.  That is a 100 in America.  But I feel dum here all the time and I feel dum when you throw away my drawing and you say it was ugly.  I am sorry.  Maybe I not understand, but the drawing that Mary made did not look like you.  When I was little I drawred a lot but I do not draw a lot today.  Maybe that is why you did not like my drawring and maybe that is why you thru it in the trash.  I want my drasring on the wall like Mary.  I want to say jokes like the boy Eight off (I know it is wrong but I cannot look up a boy name in the diccionary).   I want to make you laff and I want you to like me.   

This school is confussing to me. I am lost always. Always I don’t get choosed to play games.  Always teachers don’t look at me.  Always the pretty girls don’t see me but they laff somtimes becuase my shoes and clothes are cheap.  I want to have frends agen and I want to be smart agen. So I’m read a lot.  I go to the  librery at lunch becuause I do not have frens.  I cannot read big kid books, so I’m read little kid books during the lunch.  I read the books with sherks, bears and people famous like Pablo Picasso.  He makes art.  I like books call Berenstein Bears, do you know this books? Maybe you think I’m stupid becuase I like little kid books, but in Spanish I read all the books big and small.   I am not a baby but I can read only baby books now and that is OK because somday I will read big books in English.  I will have friends and advetures like Tom Sawyer and Huck. 

Probly you give me a F for this bad letter.  I’m sorry it’s so bad.  I have an F in PE also.  My teacher says bring shoes for run but my mom sed we don’t have money for that.  And I knowed it is tru becuase there is no electricity in the trailer.  In Sience class the teacher is nice but she is mad becuause I did not bring the jello candy cell homwork.  I did not ask my mom because I knowed we do not have money for threwing away candy, not when we eat our beans in the dark.

But it is not all bad. Mr. Taylor is a nice teacher with a funny red mustache, and he likes me tho I don’t speak so good.  On my work he write “terrific” and I thot this was bad because it sounds like terrible in Spanish, but he also put a sticker with a star that smiled, and I knew that “terrific” was probly a good word.  He let me pick a movie for class!  And the other day I’m even play a funny song on the trumpet called “Hot Cross Buns” and I don’t know what that means, but I play my trumpet outside the trailer until it made a song and I feelt happy.  I show the teacher and he say “Good job!” like in Mexico, and it was terrific good. 

And the other day I make a painting very beutiful in art class.  I never had art class befor, but I think it is my favuorite becuause I do not have to spek to make art.  I can’t believe it that the teacher gave to us paint only so we make pretty things! I have not ever seen that.  It probly is a lot of money to give to kids paint, so I was carefull.  And that teacher she looked surprised when my painting is so nice.  And she act like she see me for the first time.  The art teacher said “Terrific!”  or another word that means the same.  And then she smile at me for real, not like you, Ms. Modesto when your red lips smile but your blue eyes do not. I don’t think you like me.  Special now after the drawring.

When I don’t know what peepl are saying, I smile.  And I smile when you lookd so mad and hold my draring like it was something very dirty.  I looked very hard at your skirt with stripes of many colors and I did not understand, and I was silent.  Maybe this was a game.  You thru my draring in the trash with the gum and food.  And I think my art teacher would be sad.  Becuause I liked my draring of you with your skirt with color stripes and your funny hair and red glasses, your pink checks and red nails.  I watchd you carfully in class  and drawred you like Picasso and I was proud. 

And now I think it will be OKay if you give me an F in this homwork too.  When I watch telenovelas at home, I see pepl like you who act like they nice, but everyone knowes that they are not nice.  I don’t care if you do not like me anymore becuause you are mean on the inside like the bad person in a telenovela who makes the good girl cry.  I think maybe your fiance is ugly too and your wedding dress will be all the crazy colors with stripes probly. 

You are my English teacher but I learn more from my baby books with bears and sherks.  You look at me like you do not want me in your classroom.  Somday, English will be a piece of pie or easy as cake.  When I am verry good at English, mayby I will write a story about you.  I like writting storis more than writting stupid letters anydays.  And mayby when I am big and smart, I can make messy art like in art class becuause that was the smartedest I feelt in a verry long time.  At the librery, I read a book about a man named Pablo Picasso and he draws ladis with many eyes, and I think he would like my draring of you.  And I like Picasso better than you. 

Sinserely,

Karla Perez Garcia